For some years now I have been working to heal my Venus in the 12th house. As a Taurus Sun sign, and someone who has a total of eight planets and asteroids in Venus-ruled signs, the placement of Venus is most important to me.
Self-Sabotage and Venus in the 12th
Having Venus in the 12th is not a naturally benign place to be. While exalted in Pisces, Venus feels rather restricted in the house counterpart to the sign. The positive manifestations of the house are solitude, meditation, mysticism, and past life work, rather unnatural fits to a social personal planet concerned with self-actualization and sensual satisfaction in the here and now. And the more negative aspects of self-sabotage, loneliness, and past life shadows and wounds seem worlds away from the bright, glittering light of love and pleasure that Venus shines upon us all.
For me, my Venus in the 12th speaks of shame – sexual and sensual shame, yes, but also the sabotage that happens when I stand in my own way in the pursuit of love and pleasure and when I have sabotaged the success of my relationships with others.
Relationships and Venus in the 12th
I have not spent much of my life in romantic relationships. An interpretation of Venus in the 12th that is neither positive nor negative is the need for solitude, and as an introvert, this is a need of mine that must be met on a regular basis. This can also translate to being single until one has truly healed the Venus in the 12th placement. If one doesn’t actively heal this placement, it could lead to a constant sabotage of relationships so that one ends up alone but also miserable because there is the desire to be in relationship with another (especially with Venus in Gemini, as I have) but a subversion of said relationships.
Have I actively sabotaged my past romantic relationships? Yes and no. I do crave a long-term committed partnership, and I do well in such a relationship. At my best, I am a nurturing, strong partner. I have frequently sought out and/or fell in love with people who are in some way unavailable to me, however: a May-December romance, someone who is in a “complex” situation, someone who cheats on me, someone who is otherwise emotionally unstable or in some other way unavailable. When in a relationship, I have battled both my codependent tendencies and my overwhelming fear of the impending end to the partnership, even at times wondering to my beau when he will leave me. No matter how much one may be attracted to a self-deprecating, even self-abusing, personality, it can’t help but erode his faith in the partnership, or at least be an ongoing annoyance to him.
Difficult Aspects to Venus in the 12th
In addition to my natal Venus sitting in the 12th house, it also opposes my natal Neptune. (The opposition is within five degrees, a little wider than my conservative astrological self-training usually allows, but I believe this is an important and telling aspect.) Difficult Venus-Neptune aspects often deal with the hard truths of illusions – the lies we tell ourselves about love. Moreover, the North Node is conjunct Venus in my 12th, and the South Node is conjunct Neptune in the 6th house. Now, illusions about love have a past life and karmic underpinning.
I have never had a committed partner be completely faithful to me. I have never been with anyone who was fully invested in our relationship. I have never lived with, married, or had children with a partner. I have never had a consistent relationship last more than a year. I have been so distraught over love that I have tried to commit suicide.
Karma and Past Lives
All of these things are true, but I am just as much at fault for them as other people are. I had a professional astrology reading with Dena DeCastro last October, on the day of a solar eclipse right on my natal Saturn at 0 degrees Scorpio in the 4th house. I had accumulated some anxiety for this eclipse, especially since it keenly reminded me of my Saturn return some years prior in which I had been dealing with the aftermath of a breakup and my own suicide attempt. Dena saw the eclipse as a point of healing, a “star” in my crown, as she said. She also provided another point of healing and release: a Venus-Neptune opposition so close to the Nodal axis indicates a past life in which a love didn’t work out or was taken away, and I was punished (or punished myself) by being cloistered in a religious community or playing the martyr in some other way.
Bringing consciousness and intent to this difficult opposition is the key to heal the pain of lifetimes stemming from this lost love and the continual cycle of self-punishment chosen to atone for it. The ruler of my chart is the Moon (I have Cancer as my rising sign), which is in Capricorn in the 7th house. This means that my emotional home is found within relationships. Furthermore, Neptune conjunct the South Node in my 6th, while a point of pain needing healing, is like a straight arrow to the conjunction of Venus and the North Node in my 12th, meaning that fulfilling my karmic and evolutionary path goes hand-in-hand with walking the way of love and healing my Venus placement.
Not that this is an easy path. Afterall, my Moon and Venus are quincunx. My need for love and for emotional security have often been at odds. I have frequently held myself back from pursuing love because of my fear that losing a love would throw off my hard-won emotional equilibrium. By the same token, my spontaneous overtures to romance and sexual satisfaction have often put my emotional health at risk – getting into a relationship with someone who, deep down, I knew would be a destructive force in my life just because I wanted him; initiating a wild, at times catastrophic, sexual affair with someone who wasn’t totally free to be with me. Throw into the mix a Juno exactly square my Venus. The goddess of long-term partnership at a 90 degree angle to the goddess of sensual sparkle? No wonder my needs for a lifelong love are often at odds with my need for a quick fling.
Helpful Relationship Aspects
Fortunately, my Capricorn Moon and Pisces Juno are sextile. My need for a solid foundation of security in relationships is strongly supported by a soulmate connection with someone who can spend all night talking about philosophy, culture, law, the stuff of the higher mind. Someone who wants to travel the world with me, or at least hop into a hot air balloon. Someone who values my code of ethics.
Therein lies the key: engage the Geminian Venus through talking, sharing ideas, being spontaneous. You must nurture its desire for variety, novelty, new slices of information, and more than a few kinks! When that first blush of love is gone, as it always and inevitably will be, you must continue the engagement through that strong mental, ever evolving connection.
Taking Control
The second key is to take responsibility for all that I have done to sabotage my own past. A Mercury-ruled sign, Gemini doesn’t have time for your navel-gazing pity parties. All of the litanies of the terrible, horrible things everyone has put you through your whole life long? Gemini is already off tending to their twelve careers. It doesn’t care. And you know what? I shouldn’t either. It’s one thing to take the time that one needs to process and heal fully. That’s important. That’s essential. And it may take a very long time. But I’ve reached the point where I’m finally able to put it all behind me. I’ve woken up in a room of sunshine, the weight having slipped off my shoulders in the night. My Venus has entered its true healing. And to turn back now is beyond absurd.
So, I don’t project my pain or sexual shame onto others. I vow not to relive the bitter past again and again. I take responsibility for my part in my own hurt and the hurt I’ve caused to others. But I don’t play the martyr either – I won’t deny when lovers and potential lovers have done me wrong; it is not for me to take on their sins.
Helpful Aspects to Venus
Some final natal chart aspects to my Venus that are providing me some strong hope and guidance as I continue to navigate this place of healing: Ceres in the 8th house is trine my Venus. As I deal with feelings of loss from my past (the 8th), my desire to have children and build a family (signified by Ceres) will inspire me to actively work through my Venus issues. The asteroid Pallas is conjunct my Moon, so once I fully heal the quincunx tension between my Venus and Moon, I can speak (and perhaps even teach) from a place of leadership and triumph (Pallas) in regard to my Venus struggles. And last, but most certainly not least, Venus and Pluto are trine in my chart, meaning that when I truly heal my Venus placement, I will have transformed my ideas of love and relationship so that, like the Phoenix, I may rebirth my love life into what it has always been destined to be.
When the Time is Right…
And why now? Why have I chosen to heal my Venus in the 12th at this point in my life? Well, my progressed Moon is sitting right on my natal Juno. My current emotional state is aligned with my need for my twin flame. What better time to get the goddess of love in the here and now and the goddess of forever love finally in sync? Not to mention that a recent New Moon fell on my Venus, renewing my charge to heal her!
Further Resources
Houlding, Deborah. The Houses – Temples of the Sky.
Marks, Tracy. Your Secret Self: Illuminating the Mysteries of the Twelfth House.
Pelletier, Robert. Planets in Houses: Experiencing Your Environment.
Shepherd, Jessica. Venus Signs: Discover Your Erotic Gifts and Secret Desires Through Astrology.
This page contains affiliate links to books and products I highly recommend or to some gol’dang fantastic art I also recommend. I receive a small commission for purchases made through the links in this blog post, but it doesn’t cost you anything extra. Thank you for your support. —Kal
you can easily see venus any time in the next few weeks… Just look at the west right after sunest. The brightest one is the Venus.
That was so beautiful! I sort of recently learned that my venus Gemini is in the 12th. And though it is painful I am so thankful that I know this now. I have much healing to do. I also am a cancer rising, and my moon is in taurus. Thank you for your words they truly resonate.
Roxanne,
Thank you so much for taking the time to comment, and I am so glad that this post resonated with you. Venus in the 12th is definitely not an easy placement, but I have found that such strength and profound healing can come from it.
Good luck on your journey, and please let me know if I can ever be of assistance to you.
Warmly,
Rachel
Dear Rachel,
Your article deeply resonates within me because I feel like I am reading my life’s story. I have Venus in the 12th house unfortunately. I have gotten into relationships where the men would not commit, attached, and men who would not marry me and strung me along. I hate this placement with a passion. I have been single for eight years and have finally found someone, but only to feel that his intentions of marrying me feel fake. I feel like this placement has cursed my love life and how I go about my relationships. I confused on what’s real love and manipulation. So instead of continuing the battle in my mind, I have put an expiration date on my relationship. I specifically told him in the beginning of the relationship that if we are not engaged in two years, I will leave. He got defensive, but I am standing my ground and will leave like a ghost if the engagement doesn’t happen. I don’t want to waste my time any longer since Im 34 yrs old. Also, what got me into this committed relationship is waiting to be intimate with him until he commits, which happened after one month of dating, calling and texting. I finally stood my ground was willing to walk away if he was not going to commit, which what got him to commit. I won’t stop until Im in a healthy, committed and invested relationship that will lead into a married because I am sooooo hateful of this placement and I am determined to overcome the horrible love curse. One last thing, I was so obsessed to get married during my eight years of being single that I truly became crazy thinking that I was cursed and needed to be blessed with holy water and repent all my sins. But now I know is was this Venus in the 12th house placement that has cursed me…lol It is extremely important to have boundaries and to stick to those boundaries and to not settle for less than you deserve.
Jmk,
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and respond to my entry.
I admire your courage and tenacity in continuing to pursue love. I am wondering: what sign is your Venus in the 12th house? For me, Gemini has colored my entire Venus in the 12th house experience. I have had to learn to embrace duality, and duplicity. The duplicity of lovers who have been untrue to me and the duality of love. Most of all I have had to embrace my entire experience of taking my Venus out of shame, living her pleasure potential, and owning my experience of her, even if someone else does not honor my experience. That is, to me, the Gemini Venus in the 12th experience. I would be curious as to what your sign is.
Thank you again for reading and communicating with me. Sending you lots of love and light on your journey.
Hi Rachel,
Your article deeply resonates within me because I feel like I am reading my life’s story. I have Venus in the 12th house unfortunately. I have gotten into relationships where the men would not commit, attached, and men who would not marry me and strung me along. I hate this placement with a passion. I have been single for eight years and have finally found someone, but only to feel that his intentions of marrying me feel fake. I feel like this placement has cursed my love life and how I go about my relationships. I confused on what’s real love and manipulation. So instead of continuing the battle in my mind, I have put an expiration date on my relationship. I specifically told him in the beginning of the relationship that if we are not engaged in two years, I will leave. He got defensive, but I am standing my ground and will leave like a ghost if the engagement doesn’t happen. I don’t want to waste my time any longer since Im 34 yrs old. Also, what got me into this committed relationship is waiting to be intimate with him until he commits, which happened after one month of dating, calling and texting. I finally stood my ground was willing to walk away if he was not going to commit, which what got him to commit. I won’t stop until Im in a healthy, committed and invested relationship that will lead into a married because I am sooooo hateful of this placement and I am determined to overcome the horrible love curse. One last thing, I was so obsessed to get married during my eight years of being single that I truly became crazy thinking that I was cursed and needed to be blessed with holy water and repent all my sins. But now I know is was this Venus in the 12th house placement that has cursed me…lol It is extremely important to have boundaries and to stick to those boundaries and to not settle for less than you deserve.
Hi, i am very grateful that u have shared this
I also have venus in 12th house in sagittarius placement. I am 27 years. I have never been in relationships but one. And that one cant be called relationship cos it was on and off. And he didnt love me but wanted to talk or to be around. My love life is very hard. Sometimes people who arent my types stick to me and i dont like it cos i want just a person who i love and like whp can be my friend who will be happy to be in relationship, who wont be shy to be with me. I do hope i’ll find that person cos i believe that there is always someone for everyone.
Natavan,
Thank you for reading and taking the opportunity to connect.
Since you are 27, it sounds like you are likely coming up on your first Saturn Return, if it has not already started for you. If your Saturn is in Sagittarius, it may have been interacting with your Venus sometime in the past couple of years, or the coming couple of years, depending on the degrees involved. While Saturn Returns are not known to be easy, they are great opportunities to figure out what your priorities are and align yourself to meet them. It sounds like a long-term, committed relationship is very important to you. I hope that your Saturn Return, and Saturn’s journey through your 12th house, will help to get you ready for that big love that I KNOW will come for you :)
Love and light to you!
I am very happy that u responded. Thank you. My saturn is in 1st house in capricorn where my sun sign is.
hello i was reading this and it very much resonated with me, bc i’m also a taurus with a cancer rising, and venus in gemini in the 12th house. thank you for sharing this article
Morgan,
Thank you so much for reading and for your feedback. It’s lovely to meet a fellow Taurus with Cancer Rising and a 12th house Venus in Gemini :)
Hi ,
Your planetary positions are very similar to mine. I am 24. Can you please help me to interpret my relationship life. I have gone through many websites for interpretations but they made me more confused. I feel you can help me as you have similar placements. I will be great thankful to you.
Venus in 12th house in Gemini.
Moon in 1st house in Cancer.
Saturn in 7th house in capricorn.
Good evening, it is great to hear from you!
With the Moon in your first house, you may feel like you often have your heart on your sleeve, that it is difficult for you to separate your emotions from your persona. While this can be difficult, it also probably means that you have an easier time than most expressing how you feel, which can be a gift :) Saturn in your 7th can be difficult for forming long-term relationships. However, you will have your Saturn Return coming up in the next several years, and you can prepare for that by doing work in getting clear about what it is that you want from a long-term partner and being honest to potential partners about that. Saturn Return will help you to face a lot of your fears about long-term relationships. And with Venus in the 12th, as I’ve written about, you may feel that your love light has been overshadowed in your life. But often taking time away from the world to get clear about what you want from love can help you to open up that difficult Venus placement.
I hope this provides some perspective for you. Thank you again for writing.
I have 4 planets in Taurus in the 12th house ( sun, moon, mercury, venus) and totally understood your message – it is a challenge, one that I still work on and thru
Thanks for reading and commenting, JP! Sending you love and light in both the beautiful and the challenging times the 12th House brings.
We have nearly all of the same placements, wow! How unfortunate for you, lol!
Taurus sun, 7th aqua moon, cancer asc, 12th venus gem, pluto trine venus & moon. I have an 8th house south node and 1st house Juno. I have my venus in opposition to my neptune square saturn which also happens to be opposite my MC. I have a nearly exact mars jupiter conjunction thats also sextile venus. Round it all off with an irritable sun square moon.
I deeply wanted to be in a relationship in my teens already but had no clue. Figured I’d focus on making money, having fun and hope for the best post career start with regard to relationships. The having fun for me had nothing to do with women or partying thou, unfortunately, adrenalin sports was ‘it’ for me. Snowmobiles, dirtbikes, atv’s, bungee jumping, etc. Broke my back and became a paraplegic when I was 20. Before I even got out of the hospital I figured o well, thats that with regard to relationships. I quit before I even attempted a start. 36 now, have broken my back 3 times to date. More titanium in my body now then in my wheelchair. Ultimatum from my doc forced me to re-evaluate my life. If I kept myself focused on money and intensity the need for a relationship wasn’t central. But my body can’t take my lifestyle and my lifestyle has made relationships much more difficult which would have been incomprehisible pre injury. All of my friends have been lifelong and all of them were married in there early 20’s which didn’t help although it should have. When I turned 30 I ended up in a short relationship. Long distance and yup, she cheated.
I can relate entirely to your experience as you portrayed it. I sincerely hope you find what you’re looking for. I seem to be aiming in the other direction, detaching from life and craving more solitude and aloneness to fight the discontent and unease as time goes on.
Hi, Andrew,
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and reply, especially for your vulnerability and candidness in sharing your story.
I can empathize with your detachment and craving for solitude at this time. The current eclipse cycle, and other major outer planet transits, seems to be driving me to something similar in my own life. I wish you all of the fulfillment and happiness that this serenity will give you, and I also hope that whatever your ultimate goals, you have the resources to achieve them.
Again, thank you for reading and sending you all my best.
Hi, I´m Leo with ascendent in Cancer. I have Venus conjuction North Node in the 12th house in Cancer (trigon Moon in the 4/5th house in Scorpio). Unaspected Saturn in 4th house. Empty 7th house. All my houses are empty but 1,4,5,6,12 with a cummulus of planets in the 4th, with lots of squares from 1st/ascendent to 4th. Im 34 and my love life hasn´t nearly existed ever. I am attracted to spiritual men only which is very complicated. Ever I find someone who can interest me, he is not free or/and I am no one for him. I´ve been terribly lonely. It is not possible for me to join in superficial relationships. I havent mastered self love yet, I´ve been trying to learn to be happy on my own. I also thought my problem was only psychological (I guess I think I dont deserve love and/or I am unconsciously afraid to be hurt). It is so difficult for me to trust I might find true love/ love might come to me. Any help? Thanks a lot.
Hi, Sat! Thanks for reaching out. I am sending you lots of love and light. It’s tough seeking deep relationships that resonate with you spiritually. Honestly, I admire you for your tenacity in this, and I wish you upon a journey of self-love.
Your un-aspected Saturn sticks in my mind. Perhaps this would be a good place to start. What was your Saturn return like? For me, as a Capricorn Moon with a Saturn at 0 degrees Scorpio (in the 4th house, as yours is), healing my Saturn issues has been a big part of increasing my self-love and finding deeper compassion and care for family, friends, and lovers. A Saturn journey doesn’t sound sexy, for sure, but an amazing book out there is Surviving Saturn’s Return by Sherene Schostak and Stefanie Iris Weiss (McGraw-Hill, 2003).
Good luck, and let me know if I may help you further.
Thank you, Rachel, I was really glad to see your reply.
yes it looks unaspected (7,5 degrees to Pluto- some charts see it as a conjunction), then there is Pluto in conjunction with Mars, (in Libra) and then quite close Jupiter (already in Scorpio) and Moon on the cusp of the 5th house. According to the Saturn placement: too critical parents, I was taught to suppress emotions and I havent felt any emotional support. I missed unconditional love. I see myself as someone who really doesn´t belong there being so different. I´ve moved abroad 9 years ago where I feel more free and myself. I would also see as true lot of barriers when trying to connect to nature/ intuition and alternative therapies dont work much on me. To get better I ve started to work to release my emotions first, a year ago, the process is very slow and frustrating. I have lot of trouble trusting in life in general. (At least I was happy to re-find my Neptune in 6th house saying I could work with energies finally.) I don´t know much about the Saturn´s transits, at my first nothing really rare happened, I was living abroad, just maybe: I met a guy who I saw as my first boyfriend, I was absolutely trusting everything was going fine (while it wasnt) even when he left, stopped talking to me and some months later re-appeared saying it was over. ( I WAS trusting there). I dated some more men in that period who turned me down and I didnt really get why. I ve read somewhere than even a minimum pressure here spoils everything with Venus in the 12th house. In conclusion I don´t know exactly how to heal my Saturn, I guess I should accept and forgive my parents/brother but I am not strong enough to do it yet. (When I tried to explain myself to them it did not work.) Sorry to write so much! May you be well.
Sat,
Thank you for continuing your candor and sharing your story. For me, healing Saturn doesn’t necessarily mean forgiving, especially if you’re not ready. One thing that I like about the Saturn Return book that I suggested is that the authors share healing strategies to dig further into Saturn and other aspects from your chart that keep you from love – both self-love and love from others. Saturn wants us to invest the work in healing, and unfortunately, that healing sometimes takes years. However, that healing should ultimately be rewarding.
7 degrees is more liberal than I usually tend toward, but when Pluto is in range of Saturn, it definitely brings a heaviness to the area of life, in your case home life. And with a Mars conjunction as well, there can be anger among the passionate feelings that Mars can bring. I would suggest a reading with an astrologer, in particular one who specializes in evolutionary/karmic astrology, to tease through some of these heavy aspects and help you put them into perspective.
Wishing you love and light always.
Thanks again, Rachel. I appreciate the forgiveness point- and will check the book too! And then, if a karmic astrologer walks my way… I´ll stop him to ask some things :D
Best wishes and good luck to everybody reading.
Wow. Thank you very much for this, i just stumbled on your diary (as another venus in 12th trying to heal) My venus is conjunct my north node in taurus in the 12th, and it opposes my saturn/south node in 6th. I have had a very complicated love life, many short/secret affairs after my ‘first love’ relationship ended after 5 years, with his cheating. I have been very insecure and emotionally detached ever since, but also very spiritual. I also have moon conjunct uranus in 7th making it all more complicated. I crave for partnership and independence with equal intensity! I even got married last year because of fear but it turned out to be very abusive and i got divorced a few months ago. I tended to end up with neptunian people (mental problems, abusive, alcohol..etc). Now i feel that i have no more room for inauthenticity, i just want to be myself, and i hope i can still be loved, and truly love someone.. but not anytime soon as i’m still trying to recover. The approaching full moon will be conjunct my saturn (and opposite my venus) and i was wondering what could this mean? Maybe the current thoughts i’m having..? My sun is in cancer, ascendant in taurus, and moon in sagittarius. I would be grateful to hear any comments. Thanks a lot.
Sel,
Thank you for reading and taking the time to share your story with me. I send you healing as you confront these difficult times. I am glad that you made the decision to end the abusive marriage and that you are free of that. Take the time you need to heal. You are absolutely deserving of love, and if you wish for love, tread that path with confidence and serenity, again when you are ready.
I think the upcoming Full Moon conjunct your Saturn is bringing reality and diligence to your wish for love. Its opposition to Venus isn’t an easy one, of course, but it indicates that doing the work to clear your path for the love you desire is in order. Call upon the resources that will help you to heal – therapy, a strong support network, spirituality, and study. It will take time, but I feel that the time and healing will bring you to the love that you most want.
Sending you blessings on your journey.
Thank you Rachel. I’m sending my blessings to you too. Hope we all find the balance between courage and vulnerability, to love and be loved truly from the heart…
This article hit home for me as well. I’ve been in so many non committed relationships with people who aren’t fully present for me and eventually end up leaving me to be monogamous with someone else. This has happened in all but one of my relationships. I’m single much more often than anything else. Venus is in my 12th house opposing Neptune as well. And I’m also a cancer rising (but my Venus is in cancer). To make matters worse Venus also opposes Uranus exactly (Uranus conjunct Neptune in the 6th). I have the capacity to love beyond most peoples wildest dreams but it has always felt like something karmic’s been blocking my opportunities. I’ve only recently begun to own my shit. Pluto is transiting my descendant currently and I’ve really started harnessing my power. Focusing on spirituality has kept that empty feeling of being perpetually single at bay. Because I moved my focus, I found I get more romantic attention. I feel like I’m starting to move past the shy-ness of my 12th house Venus thanks to Pluto moving into my 7th. I’ve refused to settle for anything less than what I really want. I can wait for the right time while I continue my self work.
Caitlin, thank you for writing. I appreciate your willingness to share your experience. It sounds like love has too often brought you pain, but I applaud you for your self-awareness and your journey. You truly do sound like you have stepped in to your own power, and that brings only the best of people to you. Pluto has also been sitting on my Descendant for a while, and I find a similar crystallization of power and confidence. I send you warmth and healing as you continue on this journey of strength. Blessings to you.
I’ve always been into astrology but I always thought the sun sign is what made up who we are. As I’ve gotten more into it I’ve learned that my Venus is in the 12th House of Capricorn. I am an aquarius sun and a Taurus Moon. I find that in the past I have always attracted ( not to be confused with interested )people who are less into me than I them, people who are in committed relationships that expect me to be their side chick, or people quick to put me in the dreaded friend zone. Having these experiences over and over has made me a little cautious when people express interest in me. I’m not going to lie this placement has made me angry at times because Ive wondered what have I done to deserve this. As others have said in this thread , it feels like a curse . Now that I am aware that I have this placement, I am doing my best to acknowledge when I am sabotaging my own desires verses when someone is actually not good for me. I no longer want to continue to punish myself for other people’s decisions and I’m starting to believe that I deserve love just as much as anybody else. I believe when I start vibrating higher, I will attract higher.
Ayana, thank you. The Sun sign does say a lot about our core being, and especially about who we are becoming in this lifetime. But Venus is the key to the law of attraction in our lives, who we attract and why. Attraction takes self-awareness, and it sounds like you are working on trying to understand Venus’ role in your life. I really love what you said, “when I start vibrating higher, I will attract higher.” If I had a secret of life to impart to someone, that would be it, and you have already realized and are practicing this secret! Many blessings to you on your journey.
Hmmm, I think you need to spend some time looking into your 8th house(Aquarius) and find out what’s really going on deep in your psyche – who you become once in a relationship might be at odds with your ideals of yourself in a relationship ( Venus-Neptune). Are there any planets in your 8th house? Look into that – in my opinion that’s where the healing and transformation takes place in a radically deep painful yet effective way. The Venus opposition is just highlights the trauma happening.
Also I read your Capricorn moon not so much as needing stability (as that’s more Taurus) but as being a lot more serious about life than others and thus more prone to seeing the negatives of life than the positives. This will make you prone to feeling down easily regardless of whether you’re in a relationship or not, Capricorn moon is child’s play, it can make you feel like the victim of life but if you choose to embrace its positive sides, you are the wise, ambitious and most sensible person around for miles!